Meet the Mytee® Team
John LaBarbera, President
Hello, my name is John LaBarbera. I’ve kept this facility running in tip-top shape for over twenty years. I’m tough but fair, so long as you follow my rules. I’m a social man, you’ll find me chatting on the phone, or my favorite, browsing Facebook. When I’m not running things around here I like to build machines. If you ever find yourself on my bad side, here’s a little something to remember: I’m a steak man.
Hi, I’m Paul (you probably already knew that. I’m pretty famous on my block for my award winning acting in Mytee’s Out-of-the-Box Videos).
I started building carpet cleaning machines when I was a kid and have been in the industry ever since. When I’m not playing video games in my cell, I like to take my RC truck to the yard for some racing.
I’ve been sentenced to life at Mytee without parole. Come by and see me during visiting hours, Monday through Friday, 7:30a – 4:00p. Don’t forget the beer.
Gianna Hammer, Office Manager
Hi, I’m Gianna. Also known around here as Hudson’s mom. I have been raised in this industry since I was little- I guess you say it was my bad association that lead me here. However, now I have roaming privileges around here for good behavior so you never know where I am at. One thing is for sure. Hudson and I are partners in crime so wherever he is I’m not too far away.
Baby Hudson, TBD
Hi, I’m Hudson. I guess you could say I’m the cool baby on the block. Everyone wants to be a part of my crew. So I ask them, how well can you make a bottle? I pretty much have it made around here; adoring fans, fresh food supply (thanks Momma!), my own office…I even got the warden wrapped around my cute little fingers. If you need protection I’m the baby to ask, just don’t interrupt my nap time or my mom will make you regret it.
Hi I’m Vincent, or as my cousins like to call me, Vinnie. I have been stuck, or should i said, content in my cell for over 20 years now. I keep my mind and thoughts busy with new ideas and mathematic challenges so that whenever I am freed I can conquer the world. What I enjoy most is our lunch time where I count the square footage of this prison while eating my subway sandwich. Sometimes, I sit with the others and listen to them or I just nod as my mind wanders.
I could be social at times, I guess. So if you feel like running a issue by me, I will be sure to try to help you, or at least add up the numbers for you.
Hey- I’m Miriam, I’ve been assigned to Mytee’s second floor isolation housing for three years now. Not very often, I am rewarded for good behavior and allowed down on the main floor to interact with my fellow inmates– but only after I’ve had my morning coffee, otherwise steer clear.
I like to stay busy. To pass the time I design emails to send to my friends on the outside, work on Mytee’s website, post on social media, coordinate events and trade shows, and appear in photoshoots and videos. Oh, and I eat. I’m a sucker for warm, fluffy pastries. If you have any marketing questions, feel free to bust me out of this isolation cell. Don’t forget the croissant.
Kenny, Graphic Designer
Hi, I’m Kenny. I grew up on a desert planet with my aunt and uncle who were unfortunately killed by Imp– oh wait, that was Luke Skywalker…
It all started after my parents were killed outside of a theater in Goth– no, that was Batman…
Ermmm hi I’m Kenny…
Andy, Document Control
Hi, I’m Andy and you can say I’m the Jack-of-All-Trades around here, the “Red” of Shawshank. I got sentenced for trying to smuggle bamboo into the states to my fellow pandas but got caught in a sting. I guess I wasn’t ninja enough, dang stomach and always being hungry. Originally I was housed at the maximum security San Diego Zoo but after being on good behavior I got transferred here. Been here for 4 years now and it’s a way better life then at MAX. I spend my days fixing computers, documenting machines and making sure the explodes views are correct, to making sure everyone has the right information around here, and of course eating. Stop by and visit… Oh, and when you see the sign “Don’t Feed the Pandas” don’t listen to it…Bring me some food.
Juan, Shipping Manager
Hi, I’m Juan. I’m in charge of smuggling packages in and out of this joint. I’ve probably been here the longest of all the inmates, you could say I’m like El Papa around here. I’ve got my own crew, we’re called “The Warehouse Guys”. We like to hide out between the rows of boxes and mostly keep to ourselves.
Melanie, Accounting Manager
Hi, I’m Melanie. I’m not sure if I’m an inmate or the house matron for this joint. I have always loved being a “bookie”, I mean working in bookkeeping. If you have any questions for the accounting department I’m your go to. I will be glad to help you with your account here at Mytee either as a Vendor or Customer either one. If I cannot help you I will get you to the person and or the department that can help you.
Mahala, Customer Service
Hi, I’m Mahala…
Hi, I’m Cheyenne. I was sentenced fresh out of college. I started as Anne’s prison assistant, but was transferred to the purchasing block for good behavior. The previous purchasing inmate took the back door parole, so the warden moved me to his old cell in the back.
I’m loving the learning experience here and I’m always looking for ways to improve. If you have any tips for a criminal newbie, send a letter to cell #109! Wouldn’t hurt to include a file… for my nails…
🙂 🙂 🙂